


The Road To Hell Is Broken

by ActualRealLiveFiveYearOld



Series: The Road to Hell [2]
Category: Game Grumps
Genre: Demon!Arin, Demon!Holly, M/M, Part Two, Reaper!Suzy, Wizard!Barry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-07
Updated: 2016-11-19
Packaged: 2018-07-22 04:45:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7420441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ActualRealLiveFiveYearOld/pseuds/ActualRealLiveFiveYearOld
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They're back, albeit a bit late. Everyone's here after the conclusion of The Road to Hell is Paved With Good Intentions. <br/>They want to take Hell back, and they want it bloody.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Back At It

Dan rolled his neck a bit, feeling the joints pop loudly. His vision blurred in and out, from decent to hyper-precision sight. He slipped slowly, with immense control and concentration, into his state of mania.  
He was getting better at this.   
The prison doors slammed open with the slightest brush of his fingertips, and the world moved in slow motion.   
No civilian casualties.  
No injuries.  
Don't get caught.   
All he needed to grab were supplies and weapons.  
Dan's primary mind kept track in the background, as it had learned to work and remember while still maintaining the Insanity. He pushed out his aura to the only one he could: Arin.   
Arin was moving through Cell Block H.  
Psych Ward.   
The demon felt a prodding at his mind, sensing that his conciousness had collided with another. He snagged Dan's aura and channeled it, giving him the whereabouts of the two women.   
He had done his own training.   
With their conciousness in contact like that, Arin felt he knew exactly how much time they had.   
He could sense the jumpiness under Dan's skin, provoking him to abandon all sense of control and release the paper thin hold over his own mind. He had practiced, but they had ten minutes, at most.   
Ten minutes for what, you ask?  
They were going to spring a psychotic criminal.   
Well, Holly's boyfriend.   
Arin came to the end of the cell block, where the observation deck and information booth was located.   
Shit, it needed a keycard.   
Arin leaned against the door of the booth and waited. Hopefully, Suzy was almost finished with her assignment. She needed to finish before Holly did, or they were all screwed.   
Amongst the sounds of groaning that the mental patients were emitting (along with the occassional ambient and tortured scream) was a whirring sound from the lights, and buzzing as they shorted out one by one. The demon grinned as the door lock switched from red to green.  
And that was his cue from Suzy.  
Arin ducked into the booth and shut the door, taking a thin blanket from his bag and stuffing it in the space between the bottom of the door and the floor. He watched as the cell block was consumed in an opaque gas, none of it entering the sealed booth. Arin groped around until his fingers scrabbled against a clipboard, and he brought it close to his face.  
O'Brinkley, O'Cannigan...   
O'Donovan. Cell 15H.  
The fog was lifting outside of the window, and Arin could see the outlines of sleeping bodies in the unlocked cells.   
They had months to prepare for this, and everything was going exactly to plan.   
He tied his jacket around his face to block his nose and mouth, creaking the door open in the eerily-quiet cell block. He counted the numbers on the cells, skipping until he found 15H. He could see perfectly in the dark, but still held up a flashlight to shine into the cell.   
"Ross?"  
Arin saw Ross sitting up on his cot, a bag in hand with a hospital mask over his mouth and nose.  
"I guessed when the lights went out."  
Even with his mouth and nose covered, Arin knew he bore a shit-eating grin.   
"Cmon, we're springing you. Holly hasn't been able to shut up about you for weeks."  
Ross' eyes softened at the mention of Holly. Arin had missed the Aussie as well, but he needed to rush his reminiscing.   
"Ross, we need to go. We're going to figure out who stole Hell."  
"Stole Hell?" His accent stood out a bit on the vowels, but Arin ignored it in favor of sliding his cell door open.   
"Yeah, from what we've figured out-watch your step, we'll talk and walk- someone has been ruling under me without my knowledge, making arbitrary laws. He convinced the people I was a criminal."  
"Wait," Ross stopped about halfway down the stairs they had reached. "How could that go on without your knowledge? How did you not notice that the laws were in effect?"  
"I was... indisposed." Arin pushed the man forward and they continued forward.  
"Indisposed? It's your kingdom, Arin. How did you end up finding out?"  
"A Courting Ritual had gone awry. There were regulations being broken."  
"You're not around long enough to find out that you've been usurped, but you come around for a Courting Ritual." It wasn't a question. Ross seemed deep in thought.   
"That doesn't make sense, Arin."  
"It was _my_ Courting Ritual."  
Ross skidded to a halt once again.   
"What the hell? Did... is she okay?"  
Arin couldn't believe his concern. He'd been in prison. He was sadistic by nature, and a murderer. Arin had known him since Ross was a teenager, and he never showed concern for someone he didn't know.  
"Sure..."  
Ross gave him an incredulous and worried look.  
"Okay, no. It's bad. But still alive. I was the one in danger." Arin yanked him along once again.  
"A demon you were courting attacked you?"  
"A human."  
Arin kept his arm clamped around Ross' bicep, fearing he would stop again. They were close to the front exit, and it seemed they were home free. They just had a couple more feet to go. Arin turned, and he could read the disbelief etched thoroughly in Ross' face at his earlier comment.   
"Yeah, I know. I'm not sure that they're doing too well. I feel bad about it, but I'm afraid we're about one slip-up from plummeting off of the deep end."  
Arin was as quiet as possible as they turned the corner and saw the other three waiting for them.  
  
"Ross!" Holly's excited voice echoed quietly through the room, and she ran at the skinny Australian. He caught her with surprising ease, wrapping his arms around her tightly. Suzy trailed after her. After about twelve long kisses, he set her down and embraced Suzy, pressing his lips to her cheek. Dan stood awkwardly aside as everyone greeted one another. Arin stepped up beside him, intertwining their fingers as he grabbed his hand. Dan seemed back to normal, his coffee colored eyes shining. He was smiling at the contagious excitement, and when he nodded to Holly as she wiped tears from her eyes, Arin noticed dried blood under his nose.  
"Babe, you alright?" Arin squeezed his hand.  
"Just overwhelmed. I pushed it a bit too far this time." Dan sighed, and winced.  
"Bit of a headache."  
Arin reached up and swiped his thumb across Dan's cheek, the blood disappearing and his shoulders sagging. Arin had to do that a lot lately.  
"Thanks." Dan scrubbed his hand across his face.   
"Gives me a chance to practice endurance."  
Before Dan could respond, Ross turned and looked around the quiet room.  
"So, where's the lucky lady?"  
A large silence settled in the air.  
Dan raised his hand tentatively, face going red.  
Ross' eyes widened.   
"I'm sorry, bro," he shook Dan's hand, pulling him in a bit for a hug. He stepped back to observe Dan, who was quite a bit taller.  
"Gangly motherfucker, aren't you?" Ross smiled, chuckling.   
"Shut up, he's hotter than you," Arin came up behind him and strung an arm around his shoulder.   
"And look, I love the whole homecoming thing, but we uh, we need to leave."   
"Yeah, yeah of course." Suzy chirped, and grabbed Holly's hand.   
"Let's go, we'll continue at the hotel."  
"Hotel?" Ross gingerly took Holly's other hand as they opened the doors to the cool November air.  
"We paid cash, fake names, different license plates. I had to teach them how to swindle people, even if Holly and Suzy could charm their way through most of it."  
"Wow, are you a master criminal?" Ross was smirking, almost proud.  
"I just know how to disappear."  
  
At the hotel later, Ross and Dan became fully aquanted with one another.  
"I was locked away, and you didn't come get me?" He didn't sound accusatory, just curious and a bit sardonic.   
"Holly needed help if she was going to avoid drawing attention to herself. She did try to go alone. She just never came to ask me." Arin tried to explain.   
Ross accepted that answer, leaning over to kiss Holly on the cheek. She hadn't left his side since they had left.   
"Why _were_  you locked up? Psych ward, no less." Dan leaned to prop his elbows on his knees.   
"Assassination. Some ambassador or something. I claimed insanity, and got off death row. Still got a life sentence though."  
"Damn, man. How did you two meet?" Dan had an odd respect shining in his eyes, a look that Arin didn't like.

"I asked to escape a tight situation once, when I was 16. I asked for anyone's help, and Hell came to call." Ross explained.   
"I remember sending Holly for you. She didn't want to take it, but she came back happier than ever." Arin smiled, reaching forward to pat Holly's knee. They heard the faucet in the bathroom turn off, and Suzy exited in pajamas.  
"I remember that shit!" She beamed.   
"Holly wouldn't shut up about this human guy, back before I became a Reaper."  
Dan seemed like the odd one out, the only one who didn't know all of them since childhood.   
"How did the two of you meet?" Ross sat back and stared at the two men.  
  
"It was about a year ago, now. Dan summoned me to be his friend."  
"Actually, I wanted him to kill me. But I changed my mind when I mistook him for a god," Dan chuckled at the obvious attempt at flattery.   
"He had some shit going on, and I just... fell in love, I guess."  
"He told me with sticky notes."  
"Sticky notes, Arin? Really?" Ross rolled his eyes.   
"It was romantic, dammit! We kissed in the rain and everything!" Arin huffed indignantly.  
"He gave me a fat lip."  
"You gave yourself a fat lip! Jumping on me like that." Arin squeezed his hand to signify that there was no malice in his tone.  
"Well, yeah.." Dan trailed off, electricity spiraling up his arm with the squeeze of his hand.   
"Okay, that's enough arguement. We have two little humans who need sleep." Suzy cocked her hip out and placed a hand on it. She was so motherly, no wonder she was chosen to lead the kingdom with Arin.   
"We aren't little." Ross chuckled.  
"Yeah, we're both in our twenties." Dan added.  
Arin, who had gotten up to change clothes and wash up, turned to Dan.   
"I thought you were nineteen."  
"I turned twenty in March."  
" _March_?" That was months ago!  
"You should have told us!"  
"We had other shit going on." Dan looked around at the exasperated demons (and Reaper). Ross was watching bemused from the sidelines.   
"We would have at least gotten you a gift."  
"I'm an adult. I stopped having birthdays years ago."  
The silence returned to the room. One that was questioning whether any boundaries had been crossed.   
Dan smiled.   
"It's really okay. The birthday would be taking Hell back. And taking it back bloody."  
Everyone nodded, as though they were remembering why they had been brought together.   
"I'm gonna get some sleep." Dan flopped sideways onto the bed. Arin did the same, gently laying next to him.   
Suzy aww'ed the two of them and Arin flipped her off. Ross turned the lights off as he dragged Holly to lie down next to him on the other twin bed. Suzy turned the TV on and set up camp on a recliner nearby.   
Dan turned to face Arin, and allowed himself to be pulled close to his chest. He felt Arin's chin rest on top of his head, and fell asleep to the theme song of Real Housewives paired with the demon's soft breathing.


	2. If I Should Sleep Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Danny and Arin's relationship is being tested by something neither of them can control. Could... Could Dan be getting worse?

Dan awoke to a dark room. The only thing that accompanied him was a naked bulb dangling from the cieling. And... the chair he was strapped to. His psyche bristled as he felt the cold tendrils of fear pass through his fingertips. Oh, God, he was trapped.   
The rasping, cat-tongue feeling of his Insanity ran along the back of his neck. While he was training, he had hated the trapping situations, because there was only one solution. He knew how easily the restraints would tear, where to find the nearest perpetrator...  
He couldn't do that now, not in his weak, waking state.   
Dan fought for his eyes to adjust to the room. The darkness seemingly stretched for miles beyond the reaches of the sterile light. Dan looked up at it accusingly, only to realize it had begun to swing.   
Nothing had acted upon it. He definitely couldn't reach it. How had it moved?  
His eyes were brought back to attention when the swinging light illuminated a part of a shape in the darkness.  
It looked like feet.   
Dan struggled humanly against the restraints on his wrists. He looked down to assess the material and...  
What the fuck?  
He didn't have any restraints. His bare arms struggled against something invisible, something holding him down. He looked back up at the shape, which was being revealed slowly as the light swung more violently.   
Then it began to move.   
It was walking.  
Dan blinked, and in an instant, the light was halted. His eyes opened to Arin holding the string from which the light dangled.   
"Oh, are you surprised?" His voice sounded grossly sweet.   
"A-arin..." Dan attempted to choke out, but his throat refused to cooperate.   
"Don't strain yourself, Dan. You're already injured," he cooed.   
He was right. Dan could feel blood pouring from his hairline. His muscles ached, and his leg felt broken. When had all that happened?  
"I can help you with that."  
Arin reached towards his face and swiped his thumb across Dan's cheek, a sharp-tooth smile belying his intentions. The normally comforting gesture was sharp as Arin's talons gouged into his skin. A dangerously deep cut split Dan's cheek, and blood ran in torrents over his jaw. Dan began to panic, to call on his other side, but to no avail. There was no protection, Arin was going to kill him. The younger man reached for Dan's throat and squeezed upon contact.   
He was going to die...  
Arin was...  
  
"Dan!" A sharp pain did ring out in the older man's cheek, but only from the light slap Arin had laid on his face.   
Dan's eyes opened to Arin on top of him, and panic laced his bones once more. He grabbed the demon's shoulders and pushed Arin to the side, springing off of the bed nervously. He was on his feet in seconds, backed up against Holly and Ross' bed. His hands were both knotted in his hair, and his senses slowly came back to him as he looked around.   
Holly at his back, a small and comforting hand against the small of his spine. Ross behind her, looking relaxed, yet poised to yank her back if Dan went psycho.  
Suzy was frozen with her open suitcase, staring at Dan in rapt watchfulness.   
And finally Arin, sat up on the bed looking surprised and hurt at Dan's utter rejection of him. He had to rectify this.   
"Sorry, I guess I had a... a nightmare." Dan untangled his sore fingers from his hair, bringing them down to fidget at his sides.   
"Yeah, no shit." Arin walked over to the human. His immeadiate response was to flee, to get away before Arin was standing near him. He settled on freezing to the floor, going stock still as Arin approached him.   
Why was he afraid?  
It was only a nightmare.   
Dan let himself relax into the embrace the demon pulled him into. This was Arin. Arin, who saved him from his miserable life. Arin, his Bonded.  
Dan grabbed Arin's shirt, trying to affirm his own reassurances. This was real, as real as Arin's solid form against him.   
"Okay, love birds. We're moving on." Suzy patted Dan's back with her comment.   
Dan separated himself from Arin, pushing out the images of the demon's hand around his throat, eyes cold as he crushes Dan's windpipe...   
"...right, Dan?" Ross was speaking to him.  
"W...what?" Dan snapped to attention.   
"Jesus, Danny," Suzy giggled.   
"He's always been a dreamer!" Arin mussed his hair, and Dan tried not to flinch away.   
"Sorry, sorry," Dan forced a laugh, which sounded to him like a dry bark. Everyone seemed to accept it.   
"I was telling Holly that humans can take care of themselves." Ross informed him, and Dan smiled.   
"Oh, god no. Look at me, I need demon supervision every time I get upset."  
Dan and everyone chuckled, bar Arin. Arin was watching him warily.  
"That's what I was saying. There are things that you guys are good at, and some things you'll get slaughtered for failing at." Holly pulled her suitcase from under the bed.   
"Didn't I survive okay on my own?" Ross looked offended, if only playfully.   
"You were in jail!" Suzy laughed as she packed.   
"But I survived!" Ross held a finger up valiantly.   
"Yes, Ross, you survived."  
Dan was watching them humorously go about their argument. He was already packed, there was no need to fuss with his things. A hand clamped on his bicep.   
"Dan and I are going to check out." Arin was close to him, and Dan was rapt with attention.  
They were waved off by the rest, laughing and nodding affirmations.   
Arin pulled him out of the room.   
\----  
They were in the parking lot before Arin spoke to him.   
"What the fuck is going on, Dan?" He didn't sound angry, just questionable. "What do you mean?" He couldn't tell Arin that every time he was near, Dan imagined him as a murderer.   
"You won't get near me. You're-"  
Arin reached for his face quickly, and Dan stepped out of his reach before he could connect. Arin brought his hand back like he had touched a hot stove.   
"Are you... scared of me?" Arin's brows drew together.   
Dan was silent.  
"...Danny?" His voice was quiet in the echoing parking lot.   
"No, I'm not... I'm not scared of you. I'm just skittish, I guess? I don't know."  
"Is it getting worse?" Arin didn't dare touch him, though Dan could tell he longed to. Steeling himself, he grabbed Arin's hands.   
"No, I'm just having an off day. We humans, we get that every once in a while."  
Arin still looked a bit upset.   
"Baby?" Arin looked up, and Dan pecked him on the cheek. The demon smiled.  
"I love you." The human bit back the bile that came from lying to Arin, tearing his eyes away from the ground to stare at him in what he hoped was a loving manner.   
It didn't matter. Arin didn't have to know. Dan just hoped it wouldn't happen again.   
\-------  
It did. Dan was plagued with nightmares for the next week at the bunker. In his mind, Arin tore him apart in a number of different ways. Whether it was reaching into his stomach and gripping his spine, or burning the few family portraits he had left, he was being broken every night by the demon sleeping next to him.   
He moved around like the dead during his training, often only avoiding injury due to the hesitance of the others to strike him. Bags became darker under his eyes, and he had to physically steel himself to face Arin each morning.   
Dan couldn't even fight back when Arin trained him. He noticed Arin changing the schedule, giving his training hours away to Suzy and Holly instead. Everyone noticed Dan's change, but each was waiting for another to bring it up.   
Calling upon his Insanity was becoming increasingly easier, which was worrying the others.   
"Dan, you're careless." Dan had slipped into what they now referred to as his Id with little difficulty.   
"It's getting easier, Suzy. Isn't that... what we want?" Dan asked, struggling to bring his mind above water.   
"It's getting easier to summon, but I can see that it's getting harder to leave." Suzy was calm, brushing Dan's hair out of his face. Her matronly nature calmed him, and he faded back to humanity.  
Dan didn't see Arin come to the doorway, listening to them speak.   
"It is. I..." Dan found it difficult to speak. He didn't want to talk about it, but it was crucial to his training.   
"I think I'm getting worse." He sat down in the grass, Suzy following. He felt numb, admitting it out loud. 

"You look like you need sleep." Suzy chirped, letting him lean against her.   
"That's part of the problem. I can't sleep." Dan stared into the sky.   
"Talk to me, Danny." Suzy wrapped her arm around his shoulders and reclined onto the grass. He followed dutifully.   
Dan stuck his arm out to cushion her head, and the other cushioned his.  
"I've been having... nightmares." He hoped the sky would swallow him. He sounded like a child. Suzy waited silently for him to continue.   
"They're about Arin. They're always..."  
Dan sighed, shutting his eyes. He saw them all in succession, every waking dream he had endured for the week. He just needed sleep, dammit.   
"They're always fucking about Arin."  
"What about Arin?" Suzy gave him all the social cues to continue.  
"It's always just us, and I'm always defenseless, the Id is just gone. I'm always human... and I always die."  
"That explains why you can't fight him, huh?" Suzy sounded understanding.   
"I'm just afraid it'll get between us. I'm involuntarily wary of him. I can't be around him, even though I want to be, so fucking badly."   
"It's like you don't have control over your own mind?"  
"How much I love Arin was always something I could control about myself. Even though I'm all messed up up here," Dan gestured to his head "I always knew I wanted to be around him."   
Dan breathed in a shaky breath.  
"And now that's been taken from me."  
Suzy rubbed small circles on his arm comfortingly. She let him regain his emotions before she asked,  
"Why haven't you told him?"  
Dan laughed dryly.   
"I didn't want to worry him."  
Arin's eyes widened behind the door.   
What the fuck?  
Suzy seemed to have the same thought.  
"Dan, the not sleeping thing already has us on edge. He's been worried about you. He's your Bonded. It's his job to worry about you."  
"I think I know that, somewhere in my mind. I just didn't want him to think I was distancing myself because I didn't like him. It's not like he'd believe I didn't have a choice." Dan was wiping his eyes now, voice shaking because he felt like he was safe, that Suzy was there for him, and she was safe for him.  
"I think he believes you." Suzy patted his arm. He turned.   
"What do you mean?"  
She pointed coyly at a teary-eyed Arin revealing himself from behind the door. Dan scrabbled to a sitting position.  
"Arin?!" He nearly shouted, but settled for a undignified squeak. The human stood, frozen to his spot.  
Arin came towards him hastily to embrace him, and made to grab his arm. Dan jerked it backwards, out of his reach. The demons hand retreated, rejected by the involuntary spasm.   
Dan's heart filled then, knowing that Arin wanted to hold him and his brain was trying to keep that from happening. His heart was so full, he decided his brain could go to Hell.   
That's where his Insanity belonged.   
Reaching out, he snagged the back of Arin's neck and forced him forward, smashing their lips together.  
Suzy slipped inside, almost unnoticed by Dan. He turned his focus back to his Bonded. He tasted like brimstone and skittles, and it was the taste in his mouth that permeated every nightmare that he experienced. Dan came to fear that taste, but as their mouths moved in unision, he relished in it. His heart sped up with the memory of it, of everything Arin had done in his nightmares. Arin's hands scrabbled against his back, trying to bring him impossibly closer. Then, all at once, he was thrust away from the demon.   
"You're scared. I can feel it." Arin wiped Dan's bruised lips.  
"I'm trying not to be. I don't want to be. Arin, baby, I'm sorry." Dan's placed his forehead against Arins, ignoring the bolt of fear lacing his spine.   
"It's not your fault. It's probably the Id, I'm associated with it or some shit... your mind might be rejecting it, trying to lock it away or some other fuckery. It has to convince you that you're afraid of it. Of... me."  
"I have to be traumatized."  
"Right."  
"The human mind is a mess." A new voice spoke behind them. Arin went rigid against him. Peeking over his shoulder, he saw a dark-haired man with a cleanly trimmed beard. His arms were crossed.   
"Barry?" Arin spoke against his chest.   
"I don't even get a hello anymore!" The man threw up his arms, exasperated.   
Arin was spun around in less than a moment, and in the other man's arms. With the distance from Arin, Dan relaxed. He thought of the name.  
Barry...  
"I think I can help you with your nightmare issue, Danny." Barry spoke clearly, with an almost innocent ring to it.  
"How?"  
"Magic, Dan. It's a wonderful thing."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back, baby!


	3. Anxiety

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A difficult decision has to be made

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG. This is a replacement of the last chapter. Just work with me.

Arin and Dan were taken inside to sit at the table with everyone else. Barry was heralded, with the group either slapping him on the back or kissing his cheek. They didn't have to explain their story, it seemed it was all laid out for him when Suzy and Holly called for him. The bowl on the counter and Suzy's red-stained fingertips told Dan it wasn't a phone call that brought Barry over. He put that out of his mind, marveling at how strange his life had become.  
They told old stories of their adventures, of Barry coming to them for power. He sold his soul with no questions asked, and called on Arin so often that the two became allies. Arin went to Barry when he needed supplies, and Barry used Arin's extensive library to further his education. Arin had returned his soul to him a couple weeks before Dan called.  
  
The talking was giving Dan a headache.  
"You said you could help me!" Dan's hands danced over the tabletop nervously. He didn't have time for camaraderie.  
"Dan!" Suzy was shocked at his aggression.  
"Sorry, Suze." Dan rubbed his eyes. He turned to Barry. "I just haven't slept well all week."  
"It'll be okay now, Dan. I can help."  
The man had seemed self-important, but Holly had called him a teddy-bear. The way he was patting Dan's hand comfortingly was proving her point. Something washed over him, something that told him he was going to be okay. Dan melted, head falling against his arms. He sniffled.  
"Thank you."  
Arin stared at Barry, surprised at how quickly he had reassured Dan.  
"He's usually violent when he's relieved," Arin giggled, thinking of his bruised lips and shoulders. He rubbed Dan's back. He didn't even flinch.  
"Magic, my friend." Barry squeezed Dan's hand, and the man gave no response.  
"He's asleep!" Holly marveled, poking the back of his head.  
"Get me a marker." Ross snickered, holding out his hand.  
"He's not... kicking or anything. He's not having a nightmare?" Arin was brushing his hair out of his face.  
"He's not going to dream, but he'll feel a lot better when he wakes up. Then we can discuss permanent solutions." Barry stood up. "Suzy, I'm gonna raid the kitchen. Arin, can you take him to bed? He's gonna be sore."  
Suzy followed Barry into the kitchen, telling him what he could and couldn't eat. Arin lifted Dan gingerly, balancing his weight to carry him up the stairs.  
He laid the human out carefully, kissing his forehead.  
Seeing him finally sleeping peacefully, Arin could do nothing but stare. He sat back, thinking of the earlier events.  
Dan was scared of him. Sure, it wasn't his fault, but he was still scared of Arin. He hadn't been afraid the entire time that they had been together. Arin was the one plaguing him, making him lose sleep. Dan had said Arin wouldn't believe him.  
Did he believe him?  
Dan had lied to him before, at the hotel. Who's to say that he wasn't lying now? Just looking for a reason to avoid Arin? No.  
He refused to believe himself. Dan was the one constant he had in his life. Dan was one unshaking thing he could count on. Now that Dan shook, mentally and physically in his presence, Arin had to be steady. Now, Dan needed Arin to believe him. He could do that for him, if nothing else.  
He could do that for the man he loved.  
\------  
 "Dan, you need to do this!"

"No, Arin!"  
"You can't just suffer to stay like this!"  
Arin was yelling. He was throwing his hands up, he was trying to get his point across. He didn't understand why Dan wouldn't just agree to it.  
Barry had explained his permanent solution. He hypothesised that the nightmares began because of an abnormality with his Insanity. Hesitantly, he explained that Dan could undergo a ritual that would banish the nightmares, one that fiddled with his secondary mind. It could work, and remove the nightmares about Arin... or, more likely so, it could wipe every memory including him. Losing his memory would take away the Id, and every horrific thing Arin had been there for.  
Dan would be Dan again, before the demon had come into his life. He'd even remember the others.  
There was one more catch. Too much stimulation of the memories with Arin would agitate the delicate state of his mind, possibly sending Dan far beyond the reaches of control. He wouldn't recognize anyone, and likely would distinguish them a threat. Arin being around him would put the others at risk.  
Which meant...  
Arin would have to leave.  
Dan was fighting the situation with everything he had, explaining that he had gotten better.  
Arin still refused.  
"You would do that to me? You would leave me to be confused about the hole in my life?" Dan was dangerously close to shedding tears. Why couldn't Arin just recognize how much he needed him?  
"You wouldn't even know I was gone!"  
Arin made transparent arguments. Dan wouldn't even know he was gone, he claimed.  
Dan would know he was gone.  
"Think about this realistically, Arin! Ross wouldn't be able to keep his fucking mouth shut, people would be sad whenever they thought of you! I'm human, but I'm not an idiot!"  
"What if it worked?"  
"It's not worth it." The risk was too large.  
"You're afraid of me, Dan! What's the point of me being around if I can't touch you, or kiss you?"  
"I learned how to control something that turns me into a raving lunatic. I can handle some nightmares."  
He was getting desperate, because Arin wasn't listening.  
"You've been getting worse. Not just with the nightmares, you've been in a downhill slide since before that damn prison break."  
"Arin, I don't like you yelling at me." Dan felt a sort of trepidation, as though he were dangerously close to something familiar.  
"I'm not sure you were ever well to begin with." Arin flung the words meaningfully, not listening to Dan's silent plea for him to cease.  
Dan blinked. Arin's words stung him, down in his chest.  
He stared at his shoes for a moment, and his eyes met Arin's, brimming with tears unshed.  
"Maybe I wasn't. Then that should be the norm for you, huh?"  
He sounded hollow, and quiet. Maybe that was just the words echoing around in his empty form. He knew whatever familiar thing he felt was _very_ close.  
Arin still responded loudly.  
  
"I'm don't want it to be the norm! I want you to be better than you are!"  
  
Everything slowed. Even his heartbeat took full seconds to reach his ears. He saw himself, perhaps from a different perspective.  
Dan knew those words were probably different than how he had taken them, but everything Arin had said had hurt him.  
Arin didn't think he was good enough. He wasn't. Dan was a monster, but not like the rest of them. Dan was a broken child's toy, trying so desperately to play with the ones fresh from the box. But he was rusted and unpredictable, scarred from years of misuse.  
Deep down, he knew that staying with all of them was too good to be true. They were all beautiful, otherworldly... he could never be lumped together with them.  
  
He could never be worthy of Arin.

  
 Dan finally cracked. 

It wasn't violent, or even that painless, apathetic calm that came over him when he was angry. When Dan broke down, the only one in pain was him.  
  
A stabbing feeling penetrated his chest, and he placed his hands over it. He grabbed at his shirt and bowed a bit, his hair sweeping in to provide a last, dark barrier between him and Arin.  
  
"Dan?" All of the anger had bled out of Arin's voice. It was washed away in the thought he couldn't stop repeating.  
He would never be good enough.  
He would never be worthy of him.  
Dan would never be enough to protect him, or even stand at his side.  
  
Dan's bark of a sob was strained, and choked by tears. He grit his teeth as those same tears ran down his face, burning the impatient skin of his cheeks.  
His breathing quickened steadily.  
He had asked Arin to stop yelling, and he hadn't. Even though Dan warned him. He _told_ him.  
The walls felt as though they were closing in, and he tried to close his eyes.  
He wanted Arin to leave, he didn't want him to see _this_. He _hadn't_ seen this yet. Dan didn't want to be a burden, dammit!  
But he was still falling to his knees, trying to close his eyes and count, do whatever it took to calm himself down.  
That terrible, familiar tightness in his chest... he had felt it. He hadn't for years, but he did once again.  
Dan was having an anxiety attack.  
\------  
" _Suzy_!"  
Arin flew down the stairs. Suzy rolled her eyes over her cup of tea. Arin usually called her for meaningless things. Whether it was a jar he couldn't open, or a word he didn't know... he always ran to Suzy.  
He skidded into the kitchen where she sat. She was going to smile, maybe laugh lightly...  
But the look in his eyes caused dread to lace painfully up her spine. Her hearing sharpened, and she heard heavy breathing from Arin's room. Had he not been standing in front of her, she might have thought something was finally going right.  
But here he was, gripping the table so hard the wood grain was being damaged by his nails.  
"I-It's Dan. I don't know what's happening."  
Suzy's eyes widened as she stood, the chair flying back behind her.  
"Where is he?" She more demanded the answer than asked for it.  
"Our room. I-"  
She was already at the stairs.  
"Come with me."  
Arin's heart slowed a bit. He was still panicking, but he took comfort in the thought of having someone else taking control.  
Suzy listened through the door before opening it. Dan sounded worse.  
Syllables punctuated the heaving breaths, as though he were attempting to scream through his closed lungs.  
Suzy opened the door slowly, surveying the scene.  
Dan had his back against the wall, looking around the room as she walked in.  
To him, she seemed slanted in the shifting room. He grabbed her nearing arm to steady himself. Tears flowed freely, and he was too afraid to be ashamed.  
"He's hyperventilating," Suzy declared decisively. She turned her head to Arin, who was standing in the doorway.  
"Why aren't you here?" She beckoned for him.  
"He threw me off. He's scared of me." It was painful to say, but he began accepting the truth.  
He was right, and Suzy acknowledged it. Arin would dip him into further panic.  
She caught Dan's shifting eyes.  
"Dan, you're having a panic attack." She placed a hand to his cheek, cradling it. It was small and cool, a nice contrast to the hot flash his body was forcing him into.  
Dan nodded. He knew it, he just couldn't stop it. Looking over her shoulder at Arin, he mustered up the most apologetic face he could.  
He was sorry, to Arin and Suzy. He didn't want to bother them.  
He felt so light-headed.  
"Dan!" Suzy was snapping her fingers in his face. He was brought back to her.  
"Okay, sweetheart. We're going to breathe real nice and slow, hm?" She spoke slowly, annunciating every syllable.  
   Dan shook his head. He couldn't slow down. His chest heaved against his control, and nausea was working it's way up his throat. Suzy was the only steady presence. His eyes were wide and he tried to grab at her shirt, trying to solidify his position. 

"Dan, look at me."  
His eyes slid to meet hers.  
"You can breathe with me, or you can pass out. Either way, you're going to calm down." She never raised her voice to him, only trying to talk him through his panic. Dan nodded, swallowing loudly. He quickly returned to his heavy breathing.  
The little voice still buzzed in his ears, only getting louder when he looked at Arin. His heart hurt from both its increased speed and the look in the demon's eyes.  
He shouldn't be worrying Arin, not after all he's done for him.  
Arin wanted him gone, wanted him to forget so he could leave his sorry ass behind. He was justified, too. Dan was ridiculous for even thinking he could stay.  
But Dan didn't want to leave him.  
He didn't, and that's why he was so terrible.  
He involuntarily reached out, only to have his hand forced down by Suzy.  
"What's it gonna be, Danny?" She pushed his hair from his face. Suzy was surprisingly strong, as she held Dan down while he was trying to curl up into a ball.  
Dan's eyes closed. He focused on Suzy's breathing, which seemed much too slow for him. Matching it was an issue.  
She was basically in his lap, and he grounded himself in his mind. He could hear her breathing, feel the carpet under his hand. He could smell her perfume, and breathing it in made it seem like he could slow down.  
"In, out..." Suzy chanted like a mantra. He followed dutifully, and the Reaper wiped his tears with her sleeve.  
"I'm sorry," He heaved a breath, the room opening up a bit more.  
"No, come on. You can't help it."  
"S-seems it's like that with a lot of things la-lately." He tried to smile.  
  
Arin watched behind her, sadly realizing he was no help to Dan when he was panicking. Even when Dan _reached_ for him, he couldn't be there to comfort him.  
He shouldn't have yelled at him, he realized. He walked through the argument again in his mind, the warning tone of his voice. Dan knew this was coming, and tried to stop Arin from doing this to him.  
He didn't mean to hurt him, he only wanted him to understand.  
All Arin did anymore was frighten him.  
  
It was better if Dan forgot him.  
\----  
That's what he thought, until Dan's eyes slid shut from across the room.  
His breathing slowed almost immeadiately, the sudden silence alerting Arin to the problem.  
"What happened?" He sped towards him, falling to his knees next to his form.  
"You didn't hear? I asked him if he wanted some sleep."  
"Is he gonna be okay?"  
"Yeah, he'll be fine. It was an anxiety attack. I expected it to happen a lot earlier than this, with everything that's been going on."  
"He handles all of it pretty well." Arin touched his face hesitantly, and he didn't flinch away. While he was asleep, anyway.  
"Yeah, he does." She stopped, scrutinizing the two of them. "So what happened?"  
"What?"  
"He handles all of this like a champ, and he goes into a fit while nothing's going on?"  
It seemed no one heard them. It was a bunker, but didn't realize the walls were so thick.  
"We were arguing." He didn't look at her, instead busying himself with pulling Dan's hair back.  
"About what Barry said?"  
"Yeah. I guess I shouldn't have yelled."  
"You should let him do it if he wants to. I don't want you to leave, but-"  
"I wanted him to do it."  
She stopped.  
"You... did?"  
"I wanted him to be able to live his life. He's got a lot in front of him. I just didn't want him to hurt anymore."  
"He didn't want to forget you." She said it slowly, as though she was figuring it out as well.  
"I wanted him to be happy."  
"Do you feel different now?"  
Arin turned around to her, trying to cover up the fact that he was crying.  
"I don't want him to forget me," he whispered.  
Suzy's heart broke for her friend.  
"Tell him. When he wakes up." She knelt next to him. As she got closer, Dan began to shake in his sleep.  
"He probably wants to forget me now."  
   He gestured to Dan, who continued to convulse. His foot twitched, and his head moved from side to side as though he was trying to escape something.

"I don't think he's upset with you. I think he's just sad."  
She patted his back.  
"I can't help him. It's my job to protect him and I... I just can't."  
"You can help with the little things. Like making him more comfortable. Get him to bed, you can talk about it more when he wakes up." Suzy squeezed his shoulder, and left the room.  
Arin picked Dan up effortlessly.  
"I'm not gonna yell anymore." He quietly promised the human. "Not at you. I'm not going to scare you any more than I already do."  
Settling him in bed, the man clutched the blankets fearfully. But when Arin settled down next to him and wrapped him up in his arms, he didn't call out or strike the demon. He instead drew closer, trying to search for some security.  
  
Because in his nightmare, it wasn't Arin that stepped out of the shadows and into the pale light of the room.  
  
It was Suzy.


	4. Chapter 4

Suzy's hand inched towards his throat, her signature giggle bringing hot tears to his eyes. Her nails resembled Arin's talons, but they were dark. Night dark, as though the little light that illuminated the room was being absorbed into it. They were sharpened into a point, like they had been deliberately filed down to inflict harm. In short, they scared the shit out of him.   
The points pressed teasingly into the skin of his neck, dragging down with a burning pain. Dan winced, the tears spilling past his eyelids. They matched her in raking down his cheeks, and he whimpered.   
As usual, no words could be formed to protest.   
Dan flexed his hand against the invisible bonds. There was no escape to be had as Suzy pressed her nails into his shoulder. They bit and drew blood that spilled down his chest.   
Why? Why _Suzy_?   
The light swung, and he saw a small tattoo peeking out from under her short sleeved shirt. 'Fear the Reaper' was etched in black calligraphy.   
He didn't remember that on her. Did Suzy have a tattoo?  
It seemed an odd detail to notice when his breaths were shortening and his toes were going cold. His toes were cold. Why?  
He blinked, and it was getting increasingly difficult to force his eyelids open once more. Everything moved slowly.   
Why did he feel so tired?   
Every other time he was in this room, he felt icy terror coursing through his veins. But now, he felt so fucking tired.   
He just wanted to curl up, stop fighting and present his back for a quick death.   
Dan wanted to give up to Suzy's red-stained fingertips and black nails in the hopes that she might have mercy on him. He shut his eyes tightly, dipping into that darkness that might offer him rest. Tears still dripped coldly from his jaw. Jesus, he just wanted sleep.  
His thrashing feet slowed, relinquishing to the unseen chains. His hands flexed and relaxed. Suzy paused for a second, staring at him confusedly.  
Dan was so fucking tired.   
He didn't understand the reasoning.  The last thing he did was... sleep.   
That's right, after the anxiety attack... Suzy put him to sleep. When had he woken up?   
Suzy's tattoo still bothered him.   
Suzy didn't have that tattoo.   
Why would Suzy put him to sleep if she was going to torture him?   
The only answer was... he never did wake up. He was dreaming.   
The fucking dreams!  
He opened his eyes to Suzy, still standing still in the dark room, hand still on his bleeding shoulder. Her eyes were that deep, demonic black that Arin sometime sported. Fear filled him once again, something so great that it shook him.  
" _You aren't real_." He squeaked out.   
She smiled.   
"I'm very real, _Danny_." Suzy spat the words at him. She flicked her wrist, and sharp pain sung out along his chest. Blood spilled past it, and he attempted to double over, coughing. Something thick spilled over his lips. Blood.   
"You don't feel that kind of pain in dreams, Dan. You know that."   
His lungs hurt. He felt like he was drowning, and not like his Id was waking up. This was the thrashing, screaming kind of drowning. He coughed again.   
Suzy placed a single fingertip under his chin, tilting his head so his eyes met hers. They were inky, but they stared right into his mind.   
"Don't you, sweetheart?"  
  
Something very small woke up in Dan. Something young, something stemming from dark nights and monsters under his bed. Suzy's eyes jolted him into a new state of mind, one that knew all of the hallways in his house could become tunnels in the dark. Something that bit like fear and caused him to run to safety.   
Dan began to sob.   
"Arin!"   
He forced his chin up higher, yelling as loud as he could handle.   
"Arin, help!"   
It felt like he was screaming for his parents from his racecar bed in New Jersey, like the coat on the doorknob looked suspiciously like a demon.   
But a demon was what he needed.   
" _Ari-i-in_! Please!"  
He was dreaming, he knew it, he just wanted to see him again.   
He still felt so fucking tired.  
"He's not coming!" Suzy snapped at him, yet she backed away from Dan. She looked around the room like someone was watching. Yelling, it was working.   
"Arin! Help me!" Dan heaved once more, coughing and thrashing. His face was wet, and only God knew if it was blood or tears.   
"Shut up!" Suzy pulled his hair, forcing his head to the side and exposing his neck.   
"Do it," Dan laughed. If he died, at least he wouldn't have to expend more energy yelling. "C'mon. Kill me. But you'll have someone on your ass if you do."   
He was lying. Maybe Arin didn't care.   
Maybe he was already gone, packed up and left Dan.   
The small child in him regained control.  
"Arin! Don't let me die here, goddamnit!"  
Suzy placed her nails on his neck, forcing a shiver out of the human.   
"He's not coming. He left you."   
She giggled. Dan's heart began to crumble. Suzy grinned widely.  
"He left you, and he's not coming ba-"  
"Dan!" A voice cut through hers. It was distant, but the two of them heard it.   
Silence filled the room for one, two seconds...  
"Arin!" Dan shouted, trying to play Marco-Polo in some desperate attempt to be heard. Was his sleeping body even making noise?  
"Dan! Wake up baby, come on!"   
'Suzy' backed away. She looked at the ceiling for the disembodied voice, finding nothing.   
"Ari-!" A sharp pain sounded across his cheek, but Suzy was standing two feet away, out of reach.   
  
" _Dan_!"  
  
Dan felt a rising feeling, like he was floating gently to the surface of a pool. Everything slowed to a syrupy pace as he continued to rise in feeling.   
Then, suddenly, time snapped back to his body like the sting of a rubber band being released.   
His eyes darted open to a blind panic, grasping and clawing at the blankets around him, at the hands gripping his shirt, the person next to him...  
Arin. Arin next to him.   
  
The human grabbed Arin's shoulders, bringing him close to press his face against the demons chest. A wet, childish sob escaped him and... jesus, he was crying. It was an ugly weeping, with snot and open-mouthed barks, a force that soothing pets and kind words couldn't quell.  
There was no fear in embracing him, just the imperative need for a solid, steady presence that his mate was providing.   
He was doing a lot of crying lately.  
"Hey, baby. Come on, is everything okay? Look up and talk to me, huh?"  
A small, quiet voice prodded at him, one that was far too irregular but seemingly fitting spilling from the demon's mouth.   
Dan swallowed before glancing up quickly, having to snap his eyes back down at what he saw. The mix of shame, fear, worry, and adoration that filled Arin's gaze was unbearable. Dan could tell he felt guilty, he could dip into his Id and feel out Arin's aura.   
Dan should apologize.   
He gasped shakily, holding Arin as close as he could, taking in the smell of brimstone and Old Spice that followed him. He tried to wipe his eyes and calm down, but Arin patted his hair.   
"Hey, baby. It's okay, you had another nightmare, it's fine. Cry it out."  
  
"I'm sorry!" Dan knew he'd be cringing about this scene, but God, he really didn't fucking care.   
  
"There's no need, baby." Arin cooed, calming Dan with the repetitive strokes to his hair.   
He did need to apologize. For the anxiety attack, for the nightmare, for summoning him in the first place.   
"Arin, I'm sorry. My nightmare, it was Suzy this time. I'm sorry, I thought it was just you, and I was scared-"  
"Your nightmare... it was Suzy?" Arin interrupted.   
Dan faltered.   
"Y-yeah. I figured out it was a dream, and I tried to wake up, but I couldn't-"  
"That makes so much sense."  
"It does?" Dan sniffed, looking past Arin at the clean room around him. It was so spacious. How had he thought it was closing in?

"I was picking up around the room when you started screaming. I mean, it was my name. Dan, what the fuck happens in those dreams? It sounded... awful." Arin backed away so Dan could look up and speak.   
Flashes of dreams he could recall spiraled through his mind, and a wave of nausea washed over him. He brushed at his eyes and buried his face in Arin's shoulder.   
"Okay, you can tell me later." Arin understood. Continuing on, he said:  
"Anyway, you started yelling. It's usually not, y'know, words, but it was really clear this time. So I came over and started trying to wake you up, and you were kicking around and stuff."  
Arin took a long breath, almost shakily.  
"And then you scared the fucking shit out of me."   
Dan's brow furrowed.   
"I scared you? What did I do?"  
What had he done to the demon now? Would he ever stop hurting him?  
"You stopped."   
What?  
Dan repeated it slowly.  
"I stopped?"  
"Well, you wouldn't know this, because you can't see yourself asleep," Arin stopped, making sure Dan was following. He nodded. "But even before the, y'know, ceremony, you kicked and twitched at least a little bit in your sleep. And nightmares are worse, because you start whimpering. Why do you think I'm always wrapped around you like a sloth in the morning?"   
"That's why?" Dan was dumbfounded. He always thought that's just how Arin slept.   
"So I don't get fucking kicked in the face, dude!" The two chuckled, but Arin sobered up upon rehashing the story.   
"But you stopped, completely. I thought... I don't know. I haven't been human for a long time, I couldn't remember if people could die from fear." Arin looked up helplessly at Dan.   
"So I checked to see if your heart was beating, scared out of my shit, and it was really quiet." Arin placed a hand over Dan's heart, a strong fluttering under his ribcage.  
"So I tried to heal you, but when I touched your face, your eyes opened, and they were bright-ass red. Like when you change with your Id. And you said 'Do it. Kill me.'"   
The demon cupped the side of Dan's face.  
"And then 'Don't let me die here.' You grabbed my arm and told me to help you, and I couldn't, Dan!"   
Arin was raising his voice, and it was then that Dan noticed the bruises on Arin's wrist and the red rings around his eyes. They were glistening again as he stared at the human.  
"I was so fucking useless, and I just want to help! I'm still fucking... useless!" He was searching for words that ended still unfound. He thew his hands up and back down violently, not finding an answer in the stirred air. "Even now, I can't help by leaving because the dream changed!"  
That was the breaking point.  
Dan pulled up to his knees so he could be eye level with Arin, placing his hands on either side of his face and locked their lips together. He pushed him down so his head would land on the pillow behind him, settling so he was poised above the demon without breaking the kiss. The Id hummed in the back of his mind, but Dan forced it into a mental box. Kissing Arin still felt like fireworks, like Christmas lights dangling over a campfire, and Dan's chest felt so full it could burst, like he could cry.   
But he was so done with crying.   
He broke the kiss, much to Arin's chagrin. Arin followed as far as he could, chasing him like a lifeline. Dan stared down at the demon with dark eyes, pinning Arin in place.  
"Arin, do you love me?"  
He searched his eyes for the smallest bit of uncertainty, but found nothing.   
"More than anything."   
Dan's voice dropped to a whisper, like a secret between the two of them.  
"Then don't leave me."  
Arin matched his volume, flicking between Dan's eyes, looking for the same uncertainty that the latter had been afraid of. It rested in neither of the two.   
"I won't."  
And that it was, a quiet promise, punctuated by Dan leaning gently forward to capture Arin in a much softer kiss.   
  
This mess seemed bigger than them, bigger than any of them, and it was getting worse.   
Dan cast those thoughts out.   
Right now, he made it simple.   
  
First, he would pull the blankets over their two forms and hold his lover.   
  
He wouldn't fall asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading. Remember to leave a review if you liked it!


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